“My choir director doesn’t like me”

I have heard this more times than I can count from my teen voice students. Variations include the drama teacher doesn’t like me or the competition judge doesn’t like me. It sometimes extends to my professional students who bemoan casting directors and producers.

“Oh, that’s not true.” As a voice teacher, my first impulse was (and is) to deny it, as if it’s impossible for a teacher or director to be biased. The reality is that the director may have favorites, and perhaps you did do something to irritate her. It’s even possible that the drama teacher casting the school musical prefers theater kids over choir kids. And just maybe the competition judge doesn’t like cute blue eyed blondes because they remind him of Suzy Snarkle who dumped him in 9th grade.

My second reaction is “So?” So what? I launch into my control-the-things-you-can-control-and-don’t-worry-about-the-things-you-can’t-control speech, a sort of serenity prayer for singers. Which naturally brings us to the things the singer can control: choice of song, diligent preparation and practice, character study and artistic choices, language and diction. Not to mention, taking care of yourself and your voice by getting enough sleep, eating healthy, not screaming at football games or concerts or your boyfriend, planning ahead what you will wear, and how much time you allow to get to your audition. Okay, fine. So what if you’ve done all of those things and the director really, truly, absolutely doesn’t like you?

Be good. Be so phenomenally amazing that it doesn’t matter. Be so good that the choir director has to give you the solo even though it’s killing him. Even though you are just a junior. Even though it’s someone else’s turn. Be so believable in your character and commitment that the drama director is holding their breath. Be so present in your performance that the competition judge stops scribbling comments, pen poised in mid-air. Be so good that the casting director remembers you for a future project.

You still might not get the solo or role, or win the competition. But you won’t have sabotaged yourself by not bringing your personal best. You can walk away knowing that you gave your very best performance at that moment in time, not comparing past glories or future what ifs. Simply, you performed the best you could on that day, with no excuses, apologies, or regrets. No one can take that away from you.

Originally published Fall 2013 in my Tumblr blog “Singing in the Key of Me” (remember Tumblr?) and reblogged every year since for self-sabotaging singers everywhere.

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